


but under these pieces and parts is a beautiful heart and it loves you

by Madalena



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy - Cassandra Clare, The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: A Warlock's Love, Episode: s01e06 Of Men And Angels, Episode: s01e09 Rise Up, Episode: s01e12 Malec, Episode: s02e07 How Are Thou Fallen, Episode: s02e10 By the Light of Dawn, Episode: s02e18 Awake Arise Or Be Forever Fallen, Episode: s02e20 Beside Still Water, Falling In Love, M/M, Magnus Bane-centric, Post-Series, Sharing Strength, True Love, just love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 02:24:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12201984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madalena/pseuds/Madalena
Summary: “Help me. I need your strength.”Words uttered in desperation to the beautiful but troubled young Shadowhunter that had suddenly appeared by his side, who would probably never understand the gravity of what Magnus was asking from him.But maybe this time would be different. For once Alexander Lightwood said“take what you need”and offered up his hand, his deep gaze seemed to tell him that he understood exactly the cost for Magnus would be.----A warlock loves intensely, shattering themselves over and over again. Until they can find someone who will make them whole again. Magnus somehow knew, it was always going to behim.





	but under these pieces and parts is a beautiful heart and it loves you

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm suffering word block when it comes to my WIPs (not writer's block, I know *what* I want to write, but all words I end up writing for my WIPs end up being garbage words no matter how much I try), but the song lyric in this title (details in end notes) grabbed me, so this week you get this Magnus-centric one-shot instead.

_“Help me. I need your strength.”_

Words uttered in desperation to the beautiful but troubled young Shadowhunter that had suddenly appeared by his side, who would probably never understand the gravity of what Magnus was asking from him. 

Sharing strength with mortals was always a tricky business. Immortals weren’t so tricky, they had depth and strength of power that would keep their energies safe, their energies separate. Mortals had no such barriers. If Alexander agreed to give Magnus his strength, his energy would flood through Magnus like a maelstrom, imprinting itself on every inch of the warlock, and, should they survive, as he pulled back, broke the contact, ended the power they were channeling, he’d pull some of Magnus back into him.

Magnus always called it a missing piece of his heart. For each and every time it had happened, any fondness that Magnus had already harboured for the mortal in question would turn into an inferno of desire and want and love. It had never ended well, for mortals had never returned the depth of that emotion.

Or maybe it was Magnus who just wasn’t able to shield his heart, leaving it vulnerable and open to whatever pretty mortal happened to walk through his life that century.

But maybe this time would be different. For once Alexander Lightwood said _“take what you need”_ and offered up his hand, his deep gaze seemed to tell him that he understood exactly the cost for Magnus would be.

He only hoped the Shadowhunter wouldn’t use it to destroy him.

* * *

_“I’m getting married.”_

Magnus had been _so_ careful with Alec. So careful not to be _too much_ , even though it was clear that the Shadowhunter returned his interest. But, in the end, he was a son of the Clave, with all of the wretched _duty_ and _honour_ that it demanded.

Magnus said goodbye, and hoped that as he fled the building, that none of the other Shadowhunters saw the tears beginning to flow from his eyes.

The heavy feeling in his chest only grew as he opened a Portal on the Institute’s front lawn. He knew that no matter how much he gave, how much he loved, no one would ever pick him.

* * *

Seconds ticked by, and Magnus couldn’t breathe.

On Ragnor’s ghost’s urging, Magnus had decided to make one last stand. One last attempt to save Alec from the mistake that he was about to make.

One last chance to save his own heart from shattering.

Which had brought him here, to the chapel in the Institute, a room full of people that loathed and despised him, and laid his heart on the line in front of all of them.

He knew, in that moment, if he was asked to leave, that he wouldn’t just leave the Institute, he would leave his home, he would leave New York, and vanish into that emptiness that most warlocks walked into eventually, when the pain became too much to bear. There wouldn’t be any colour in his life anymore, just day after day of books and potions and spells, but there wouldn’t be any more pain either.

It was a tempting vision.

But seconds still ticked by.

There were whispers and curses all around him, but he ignored them. What they said didn’t matter. There was only one opinion that mattered.

_Alexander's._

Alexander stood frozen on the dais. It was clear that he was struggling for breath too, even as Lydia reassured him. Dear, _sweet_ Lydia, who, the moment Magnus had come through the doors, had pulled her stele away from Alexander’s wrist, when a lesser woman would have hastily scrawled on the marriage rune and gloated in triumph as Magnus’ heart shattered. She knew it had to be Alexander’s choice.

Alexander turned away from Lydia. Faced the aisle, faced Magnus. But the look on his face was inscrutable. Even as he stepped off the dais and walked towards Magnus, the warlock wasn’t sure what he was going to do.

Was he going to hit him? Kiss him? Was it not about him at all, and Alexander was going to just storm right past him and out the door?

His mother must have recognized something in his look, however, as she stormed up the aisle towards her son, but he brushed her off and kept coming, kept moving, directly to _Magnus_.

Any breath that still remained in Magnus’ lungs was knocked out when Alexander grabbed him by the lapels, pulling him close, crashing their lips together, as Magnus’ last grasp on his self-restraint snapped.

He kissed back, only one thought present in his mind.

_Alexander had chosen him._

* * *

As the sated, naked Shadowhunter beside him curled into his touch, slowly drifting off into sleep, Magnus had never felt more awake.

Weeks of hesitant touches and stolen kisses had all led here - Alexander appearing at his front door in the middle of the night, nervous but determined, wanting him. Magnus also nervous, terrified to show his vulnerabilities, even as Alexander assured him that he found his eyes - his _demon mark_ , of all things - beautiful.

Soft caresses and sweaty skin, warmth coursing through their veins as they found each other in the dark, taking that leap into the unknown together. And in that moment when it all almost became _too_ much, Alexander pressing gentle kisses to the tears that had sprung from Magnus’ eyes, reassuring him that he wasn’t going anywhere, that he would stay, that they would always be together.

Magnus almost believed him.

* * *

Madzie safely delivered to Catarina’s, Magnus raced back to the Institute, to see with his own eyes that his Alexander was safe, alive, even though the little warlock had assured him that he was, that she’d protected her dark-haired archer friend from her destructive powers.

But that didn’t mean that some Circle member hadn’t found him.

Magnus’ heart leapt in joy when he turned the corner, and saw Alexander, unharmed, standing on the front lawn of the Institute, looking around in a panic, clearly searching for someone.

He didn’t wait to see if it was him. He ran up behind the Shadowhunter, grabbing him by the arm. Alexander spun around and embraced him unhesitatingly, tension melting from his shoulders. They stuttered through some words, trying to explain the gravity of the situation they’d been through, but the whole world stopped when Alexander uttered those four words.

“Magnus, I love you.”

Alexander’s face was, as always, painfully honest and open, no trace of a lie or deception. Not that Magnus expected it, Alexander was always honest with others, even if hid from himself. But he wasn’t hiding anymore. And while Magnus had heard those words before, every other time paled in comparison to this one.

_I love you._

“I love you too.” Magnus breathed, heart hammering in his chest as Alexander pulled him in for a desperate kiss, bodies melting together as they reassured each other that they were alive, that they were safe, that they were together.

The rest of the world could wait, he thought, as he waved his hand to make a Portal that he pulled them both through. Right now he only wanted to feel _him_.

* * *

_“You once asked me what I was afraid of. It’s this.”_

Magnus turned away from Alexander, despite the tears in both of their eyes, his heart breaking.

He’d been a fool to think that he could have this. That he could find happiness with a Shadowhunter, of all people. But even though he’d willingly handed over a piece of his shattered heart to him those months ago in order to save Luke’s life, he could have still fought it. Pulled back from the inevitable heartbreak, cut it off at the source. Not let himself get pulled in to the Shadowhunters’ world. He already knew that only ever ended in sorrow.

_And yet, and yet._ The beautiful promises that Alexander had whispered to him, that he’d clung to, even if he’d known they’d been doomed from the start.

But, Magnus surmised, this way it wasn’t Alexander that would break his heart. He didn’t think he would survive that, to see any kind of revulsion or fear or hatred on that sweet face. By breaking his own heart, at least it wouldn’t be him.

* * *

_“I don’t think I can live without you.”_

There it was again. Alexander’s painful honesty, again worming its way through the walls that Magnus had built around himself again, resigning himself to a half-life without feelings, without emotions, lest he break himself open all over again.

_And yet._

He knew he’d always be powerless when it came to Alexander Lightwood. He knew that the Shadowhunter would always find his way around any walls, no matter how much he might try to protect himself.

So he took a deep breath, and let himself fall, again, into him.

* * *

_It is time for Alexander Lightwood and Magnus Bane to mark each other with the Wedded Union Rune._

Magnus’ breath caught in his throat as he heard the Silent Brother’s words.

After their years of fighting the Clave, they were finally able to marry with the full rights of both Shadowhunter and Warlock society. They were back in the chapel in the New York Institute, where it had all begun. The room was resplendent in Shadowhunter gold and Warlock blue, and yet he’d still feared that it wouldn’t be everything that Alexander deserved.

But then the night before the wedding, Clary Fairchild - Clary Herondale, now, he corrected himself - had slipped up to him at the rehearsal dinner, and shown him a sketch of a rune in her sketchbook. He ran his fingers over it, feeling the different elements within it. The Shadowhunters’ traditional Wedded Union rune, as well as the Alliance Rune that they had used in the war, and yet something… else… that he couldn’t place.

“What’s this, biscuit?”

“It’s the new Wedded Union rune. I’ve spoken to the Silent Brothers, they agreed. You and Alec can use it tomorrow. It uses parts of the Alliance rune to make the Wedded Union rune usable on Downworlders.”

“But there’s more to it than that, I can feel it.”

Clary just smiled mysteriously. “You’ll find out tomorrow. I promise, Magnus, it isn’t anything bad. It is beautiful.”

And so they stood, before the assembled group of Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike, ready to mark each other for the rest of their lives.

Alexander held his stele out to Magnus, letting Magnus mark him first. As he traced the pattern on Alexander’s wrist, he started to feel a bit light-headed, breathing getting shallow, and he heard Alexander the same. Once he finished, he passed the stele back with trembling fingers, holding his wrist out to Alexander.

He grasped it with his calloused fingers, trembling just as Magnus was, pressing the stele to Magnus’ wrist, feeling the pattern flow out of it and searing into his flesh.

Once the rune was done, the stele slipped from Alexander’s fingers, crashing to the floor as a gold whirlwind enveloped both of them, their lips meeting instinctively, as pure _love_ coursed through them. Magnus gasped as he felt the light pass through them, feeling _Alexander_ , who, despite being a permanent fixture in Magnus’ life for years now, suddenly felt even more so, _forever_ , and _unbreakable_.

And Magnus felt that his heart was now whole. One united whole, that now fully belonged to Alexander. Not just in pieces and parts anymore, it was _his_ , entirely and completely, and he felt Alexander’s heart burn within him the same way. _His._

“Why did you never tell me?” Alexander whispered, breathing shallow. “That this is what - that ever since - you always felt this, even when - Magnus, I love you so much. I thought I saw it then - but I never thought - that it was still like that for you.”

“It wasn’t your burden to bear, Alexander. But now I know I wouldn’t have done anything any differently. It was always going to be you. I love you, Alexander Lightwood.”

“I love you too, Magnus Bane.”

Their lips met again, and the whirlwind died down, flickering away completely. They stepped back from the kiss, hands still clenched in each other’s, as they turned to look at the others in the room.

Catarina looked up at them with a fond expression, struggling to keep Max and Rafe in their seats as a teenage Madzie tried to hide a knowing smile. Clary and Jace were grinning, Simon whispering something into Clary’s ear as Isabelle tried to suppress happy tears beside him. Even Maryse was wiping a tear away. Lydia beamed at them, fingers entwined with the man who was sitting next to her.

Magnus turned to face Alexander again, tears streaking both of their cheeks as they felt all of their emotions well up again. Alexander pulled them face to face, cupping Magnus’ jaw, kissing his tears away, even with everyone watching.

“I’m here, Magnus. Clary made sure of that. We figured it out. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

“No, you’re not.” Magnus whispered softly, voice breaking again as they clung to each other. “We’ll be together always.”

_Always._ Magnus had never thought it would be possible, but Alexander Lightwood always found the most beautiful ways in which to surprise him.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "Midnight" by Beth Crowley. I know this isn't her Malec song, or even one of her Shadowhunters-themed songs, but I just heard this line and I couldn't get it out of my head as it applied to Magnus SO MUCH. Thanks for reading! <3


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